People spent the most time trying to like themselves. To justify what they have done to others. Do they gauge themselves based on other people? Whether they have become the person whom everyone likes? If we become what other people think of us, aren't we but pawn for other people?

My whole life I've been trying to get other people's attention, trying to be special, to trounce all competition. I want to be popular, and I believe to be so I must prove to them I'm better then them. This has made me very miserable indeed.

Am I the weird one or are the weird ones the GLs instead? Am I the only one who don't find fun in sadistic pleasures of filth and sabotage? I have always wondered what do they think of me. What do I think of myself in GLs? These are the questions I ask myself everytime.

Is that why I'm so miserable? So pathetic cause I am but at the whims of other people? To be recognised by other people, is it so important to me? Am I too egotistic? That I am not sure. What I'm sure is I cannot afford to lose. I hate to lose.

When I'm in GLs, I don't know what to say, or what to do, cause even till now, I have no idea who they are. Lye Huat once say he is a passive friend. Look at him now, surrounded with friends. What about me? I'm passive too, but where are my friends?

The ways of humans are complicated and vast. But I will do my best to learn them all.

My grandma is dying. Not the illness dying, the old and tired of life dying. The worst thing that can ever happen to someone is when they are old and wishes to die, but they can't. For these people I have but one thing to say:

Look upon your life, and reflect on what you have done that you regret, and that you are proud of. Reflect on the laughter and the tears, the sorrow and the happiness, and recognise for the first time the value of your life. In this will you find your calling and true happiness.

We often reflect upon our life what other people say about us. We live in a world of humans, and thus human views are often the most valuable. However, sometimes we must consider the view that is the most imprtant of all: your own. These are the views that are most critical, cause you are your own conscience, and it is often your own feelings and thoughts that hurt you the most.

Be truthful to others, but most of all, yourself.