+The writer+

Alex here
20 yrs on earth
since 30th June 1988
alexslowking@hotmail.com

+Yearly Mantra+

"The one true treasure is self purpose."- Alex Lim

+Wish List+
+:Love
+:Big clear crystal ball
+:Chelsea Flower Show
+:Singapore Garden Festival
+:More control over myself

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Mind Reconstruction Day

Ord: Court is in session. All rise for the Overmind.
Overmind: All may be sitted. Today is yet another annual Mind Reconstruction Day, and like every other MRD, we have to get his yearly happenings in a nutshell, and once more place the memories in the Archives.
Allians: It is really sad that MRD has no actual Mind Reconstructing, though.
Inteli: True. But it is the will of Alexis himself, and his will cannot be denyed. At least by us, anyways.
Innoce: Shall we... start with the beginning?
Physi: As you wish. Histo, you may start.
Histo: He came to NP. Made a few friends. made a few enemies. Destroys his life. End of story.
Inteli: more details please.
Histo: As you wish. He tried to enter NRA at first, and made a serious fool out of himself on the auditions.
Overmind: explain, Physi, of this behaviour in him.
Physi: It has nothing to do with his physical abilities. It is his mind. He was fearful. he, long ago in fact, has made up his mind that he is not cut out for NRA. Yet he tries and place false hope in his mind. This is not under my Jurisdiction.
Ord: We shall have no more discussions. We shall let Histo list the events, and then comment.
Overmind: I concur. Continue, Histo.
Histo: Before that he joined the LSCT FOC camp, landed in Magma, and made a few friends there. Unfortunately, his insecurity and poor self esteem made him act weird and socialy unacceptable and thus lost a few friends as the result. Some of these foolishness can be reflected on the Website incident.
He went into 1G01, and made a few acquitances, and got himself set on a few people who he already know would not work out. He hurt himself once more.
He went on without any avail and was not 100% in his studies, but was hanging at the top due to his overzealous and overbearing instinct to beat other people. In the end he got the academic award, to his surprise and delight.
In his CCA, GLs, he is no goodness either. Thinking that being silent and despondent helps, but it did not. Thinking he don't want to be the overenthusiastic and became extremely annoying other person in GLs, he stayed away and spoke only when spoken to or when he got extreme urge to do it, which often leads to bad results, like 'I like plants because they don't talk much' and phrases like that. He feels he was ostracised by the GLs, but he is actually pulling himself away. Now it is too late to patch things up there. He has to deal with his guilt, and his stupidity. To top things up, there is 1 person that hates him to the core. He thinks he is not affected by him, and wrote this super long paragraph trying to persuade that person to make peace, but actually he is trying to make peace with himself. He is currently not in any close friendships with any GLs.
His school work isn't improving. His grades drop and last semester made him think that he is not adept at artcraft and starts to doubt whether he should be in HLM. He is also really afraid of insects and belief that it will be his downfall this term, but his real downfall is his unwillingness to admit to his own feelings. He thinks blaming himself for everything and writing sad things will make him happy and contented and make people think that he deserve some pity and sympathy. He is wrong. What he needs is a slap on the face is 2 slaps on the face and a wake up call. His over-dependance on fate is causing Fate to have other plans for him. Thank goodness he has good friends like Amalina that helped him, if not he will die in Ngee Ann a sad and pathetic person.
He has new plans now. he wishes to join another CCA and hope the past would not catch up. But he is wrong once more. He ran away always from troubles and never confronts them. He thinks he is smart but he is not. A smart person use his wiles to his full advantage. he did not. He is a wussy and does not dare to stand up for himself. That is why he shrinks from responsibilties and why he do thinks half-heartedly, he thinks that by doing so, he can blame it on others, and he don't want to face up to his true potential as he is afraid that his true potential is lower then he thinks it is. He don't want people to laugh at him for his weakness. He seeks companionship but he dare not confront in a socialble manner. Instead he broods the feelings till he behaves in an unsociable way.
His has made a few freshie friends in Aule, but it is Fate's grace whether they can last any longer. It seems to me the more they don't see him, the better. Alexis hopes that they can be his last salvaging hope, but it is not possible and not practical. if his own FOC group Magma lasts only for 3 months, where upon they became total strangers, what will become Aule? One month? He is not close to the Aule GLs too. It is sad.
I dare not say what he can be now. He is currently hoping to join the Japanese Tsubasa club, and hope that Fate will lead the way again. He must realise that Fate can only do so much, for She supplies the oppotunities only. He must act, or he shall never lead a full life.
Overmind: As you have said. Let us commence the meeting.
.....Undisclosed....


alexangelos made an imprint at 5/03/2006 11:47:00 PM

+Tagboard+



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

+Links+
~+Yvonne+~
~+Friendster+~
~+Blogger+~
~+Blogskins+~
~+Magic The Gathering+~
~+Ker HuiLing+:
~+Poems by Me+:
~+Nick Wu+:

+Archives+
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011