Ok. You'll have to wait a bit longer with the KYO post. There is loads of picture to resize just for this blog. Must change blogskin...

Anyways. Some short forms I've invented.

NP people= Onions (a play with annians)
SP people= Sapiens
TP people= Tempoons (erm, really sorry but its really sound like that when you put in the same context as the other 2 polys...)
RP people= Rapians (Something like rapers.)
NYP people= Yangians

The days are gonna be packed. NO THANKS TO POLY FORUM.

Anyways. I've just recieved $2000 THANKS TO SCHOLARSHIP!!!! I LOVE NGEE ANN POLY!!!
I WILL STUDY HARD!!! SMEAR SHIT ON THE WALL (read in chinese)

Ok. At first the post should end here. But I am gonna write something longer as it has been like 5 days since I blogged.

So, what occupied my life these 5 days? (In order of most time spent)
1) Slacking
2) Putting photos and profiles into the websites that I'm enrolled to
3) Autocad
4) Poly forum

The thing is, you shouldn't ogle on someone, looking at him with puppy eyes and not keeping your mouth closed. Its like a dog spraying jizz all over the place. It shows that you are desperate and its never good to be desperate. I know all this shit that guys like all this vulnerable cute shit but the thing is that looking vulnerable isn't really the same as being desperado.So shut your trap, be focused and start moving on. Never forget about the past. If you do, the same old thing is going to happen to you again, and you are going to say 'oh, why is my life so fucked up?' Its more fucked up for me who have to be with you forever. So spare me, k?

Be positive, be confident, and fuck those assholes who wants to bring you down. Yes all the Mom shit about 'oh you should help people and be kind and be honorable' piss off!!! We should bloody make a name for ourselves and do the best of our abilities. I mean, just look a your face. The moment when you don't smile, people hate you. And why is that? Because you are born with the evil face! Don't be a hypocrite. Come to the dark side. When you embrace who you TRULY are, you will have all that you want. You are no goody two shoes. You are not dancer. You are no idol. You are no rebel. So stop trying to be one, cause it makes people sick, and worst of all, it makes you sick. Remember all those times you've past? The NRA audition? The dying of your hair? All these hypocritical shit really harms you man. Be yourself. Mom and Dad can't stand your straightforwardness? Give them the Act man. Let them be happy. But make sure that one day, they'll really pay if they get into your bad books. please. Don't tell me you don't think about all this things. You do, but you try to be nice. To be goody woody. Go to hell man, your acting makes me sick. once a demon, always a demon. Nothing can change it. An assassin never stops being one until they die. When they retire, they die. Same as you. The moment you retire, you die. Do the right thing. For the both of us.

I know who I am, and I want to change. I know that one day, I will find my spot. I may be evil and pessimistic, but I know that when I was young, I was not like that. Therefore, I must be that young Alex again. My name: RuiFeng, can either mean 'That Who Light Up People's Lives' or 'That Who Continues the Fires of War' I rather be the one who light up people's lives, then the destructive other. I will surely make it. I know I can. I hae friends who are good. I have good parents and a good brother. I know I can be good too. Even if this is causing me great discomfort, I will shed the evil shell, and be someone that my mom can be proud of.

You know you want to be different. You want to win. You don't care about your studies, you care only about the winning. You see, you are being yourself as we speak! You have no way to change, no chance in hell to change. To tap into your genius, you'll need to embrace me, embrace the evil in which you are.

I will. And I assure you, that I will be who I am meant to be, by the grace of Fate, I will become someone I can be proud of. Someone my friends can be proud of. People care about me, Tim. People really do. I must not fail them. There maybe times where some people really piss me off, and I indulge in evil tinkering of others, but I know that one day, I will lead myself out of the darkness, and be nice and caring and friendly and full of love.

That day will never happen. And you know why? You can never be a turtle without a shell. you can never be a fish that walks on land. Even if you do, you will forever feel awkward. You will never belong to this world. Because you kept thinking of being pure. being pristine. Being vulnerable and innocent. You are NOT. You are a shark. Don't go and start being vegetarian with me.

For so long I wish to seal you. I know you genuinely want my happiness, but I know that in my heart, one of the things that will bring me happiness, is love. Love and approval from my parents and brother, love from friends, and love and love from my partner. Fame, power and privilage, all these are placed very highly in my heart, yes, but they will never be more important than love, in me.

We shall all be testament of what will become of Alex Lin RuiFeng.