Thank you Fate for allowing me to see the light on one particular touchy issue. She has lead me to know the truth and to avoid making the same mistake again.

Damn crazy bouts at the wrong time. When you start breathing heavily, and start to feel weak and your head starts telling you things, you'll know that you have the crazy bouts.
They feel really good but really give people the wrong impression about you.

I am so bad at Wei Qi and chinese chess.
Nope, not touching on International Chess, cause it brings back bad memories.

I told most people in chess club that I hate competitions. Thats only half right. I hate competitions because they make me evil, unscrupulous, calculating, and dominating. As I have said, I PLAY TO WIN, or PLAY FOR FUN. If I cannot win, I'll feel real miserable.
Don't forget about the Red Cross Open competition. That really made me very sad. I poured my heart and soul and made the best and most creative steps ever made in the face of Red Cross Singapore history, yet we are not the first because the old foggies cannot think creatively. That day, I really broke down. That was the ONE AND ONLY THING I've ever been committed to in my entire life, and nothing has come to pass.
From then on, I kinda feel lost on all competitions. I will never commit again. Never.

I cannot do lots of things. I'll get nauseous without being out in the open after a period of time, I am afraid of loneliness and I cannot play under pressure. I crap my pants out if I'm in a tight spot unless I'm really prepared. But of course, I'll never get myself in areas like this. I know I don't talk well, but I can write darn good speeches. So that kinda make it all up.
I like the honour and prestige that comes with being in the spotlight, but I hate the responsiblities that comes with it. Therefore, I will not be in the spotlight until I'm forced to.
Everyone can be clever, and intelligent, and a leader, but it is how much you want to be that role that is the question.
However, I will not let my future be ruined by weak teammates or such.

I really thanked Fate for letting me meet Amalina, Nora and Wirna. When one of my... crazy bouts (seizures are too serious) came I unfortunately lashed on Wirna who was unfortunately using my pasteur pipette to play with my ear. It got her realy shocked, but I cannot control myself, especially when Tim takes over or we vie for control, the crazy bouts happen. During that incident Tim just came out and he was so filled with rage and hatred which even till now we don't know. We managed to restrain ourselves from causing any more harm. Its not really up to us to control who controls the body. Now even our body cannot stand us. Anyways thanks for being so understanding.

Will I go and help out in GLs? Absolutely. I want to be of use and to help the freshies become who they can really be. I too want to be who I can truly be. And thus I want to join GLs.
And I love the extra CCA points (which, as I already said, is extra) that comes with it!!! ^^

If I don't know what to say, I guess I'll just smile and hope the troubles past!!!

I restrain myself always. And willpower is really a precious resource in me. I cannot restrain myself all the time. Its just not possible for me! I restrain myself so that I wouldn't go crazy and starts jumping around doing stupid things (though it is really nice and fun and enjoyable to do so ^^), I need restrain so that I'll say the right things, I need restrain to walk properly. I really thank Fate for such an understanding class who really supports me and (thought they are still quite far off) understand me. I do not meditate because its cool and fun to. I meditate because I have to.

The warmth of a fellow human can always sooth the hearts of even the most confused. Friends and family are always there if you need it.

Wei Qi got me so engrossed that 3 hours just flew like the wind. Time flies so fast!!! And this was like the longest period of time which I concentrated on something (other then meditation) for a very long time!!! I think I'm falling in love with chess. (and the people there who is quite friendly)

We cannot have peace when there are too much interference, like
Homework
Projects
Social shit
2 persons with 2 different (but not completely different) views of life and how to live it in the same head
And the most venomous: Computer.

Fate bless us.