This is the 2nd day of the new year. I guess its only fair that I state my resolutions, like all other people in the world.

I just can't sleep, after clocking 3 hours till 10 for Little Nicky.

What I want for new year? The same old thing I want for all new years.
I want to be smart again.
I now do not desire to be normal. It has caused me great pains. And it has stopped my creative process.
I love locks and keys. I guess I love the lack of freedom and the subsequent release. If you see my new accessaries, they are all locks and keys.
The Law of Equivalent Trade. Well, I must sacrifice something for another. And I will sacrifice for my higher intellgence. To be back at the level at my peak, even if I lose my cheerful personality, if you can call it that way. I find that I hate people who is fickle minded. The reason being is because I am fickle minded myself. Therefore, I am 75% sure that I hate myself for all the things that I do. This year is a good year, cause I did things that I hate people to do. I've learnt that I'm slowly becoming like them too, which I don't want to. Right now, I just want to bring out the beauty and art of my work. I want to see the limit which I can do. I've always this mindset that I should always keep something of mine in, not revealing my true potential. But heck this chinese humility backstabbing shit. If I don't do the best that I can, I'll never know how far I can stretch. I've given myself so much leeway, just too much, that is why I can't cry pitifully like some people I know. I can never cry if I've not given my best. The only time I think I've given my best if for the footdrill competition, which I was the choreographer. The reason why I thought so is that I cried and stoned for a long period of time after we lost. I've never stoned or cried like that after this incident.
So then I've learnt:
My failure to commit is my biggest obstacle.
Which I shall change.

Failure to change will lead to my suicide.