Some jokes that I came across:
10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE Commandment 1 Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2 If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3 Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
Commandment 5 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7 Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8 Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9 Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.
Commandment 10 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment ( Story )A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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This is all about MARKETING
A Professor at one of the Universities was explaining marketing conceptsto the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her,pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and thensay: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you andsays: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.- That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before yousay: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets