For someone who prides in learning about people and new experiences, I'm sure not doing much now. And that is why I'm taking up any fragment of an opportunity to travel out of Jurong into the great beyond. Even if I've to be at Seng Kang by 7.00am.

Ok. Why did I get myself into this stupid shit. I guess its because of the favour (notice I typed favour) he has given me and I believe in returning favours from people. Its like a contract for me. Just like money borrowed. Once you've done something good to me, or a favour, so to speak, I am obliged to commit to something for you.

I've uncovered a treasure trove of my favourite pastime and blogs!!! Wahahaha.

I was thinking about good deeds.
If you do a good deed, and you are aware of it, is it a good deed?
If you do a good deed, and you expect heaven to reward you, are you doing a good deed?
If you do a deed that helps some people and shits others, are you doing a good deed?
If I do a deed that helps others, but others don't like it, am I doing a good deed?
If I help others, but I'm not happy, am I doing a good deed?

I really don't know the answers to all these.

I am, after 19 years of wear and tear growth, becoming a person I want to become. Some that is cold, calculating, living for himself, loner, smart, high potential to be successful kind of person. I am a good person to work with, a better person to talk with to personal matters. But my attention span is hideously low. Very. I think I inherited it from mom. Not to blame on genes anyways. Its just me. I am interested in people for the sake that they experience a different life compared to me. And if I am able to relive my life, I would, just to get a different life story. I wouldn't want to forget this life though. Helping people allows me to get their life story. So my good deeds often coincide with my ideals, which is more life stories, more power. So ya thats my reason for helping people.

But sometimes I get benevolent and help for the sake of helping. That's like 0.5% of the time. But everytime I help people I get bits and pieces of their stories. These spurs me on to help more, till I get all their stories. Then I'll possibly get tired and sick and just move on to other people. But there are people who, if you stick, you'll get even more interesting stories! All human stories are interesting (remove all the crap parts like eating and shitting), especially the choices they made in life, and how it turns out. I'm a sucker for all these. When you fail, I love it. If you succeed after failure, I love it even more. Actually, if you continue to wellow in self pity, thats even better. Makes a good story.

I guess this is not a good way to make friends. But its really too bad. I never help for nothing. My mom helps people for nothing. My dad helps people for nothing. My bro helps people for nothing. But not me. I just can't. Its not in my blood.

The world has many types of people. And its these many people that keeps the world alive and well. I rejoice at life and the many lives that I see each day, but some of them I hate their mind, their very thinking, so impure and disgusting. So self-defeating. So, not useful. Pitiful though. Giving birth to life is not an easy thing. The least you can do is be useful to the world.

Thats why I need to get useful you see. Help out in the economy, get more stories, more new experiences... A human can only live 70 years. So if you can get the stories of many people, its as if you've lived double, maybe a million-duple your lifespan. You cannot relive your life, but you can guess what if when you see others.