Its finally the end. I can finally wear colours and stop feeling guilty. Its over. The mourning period is over. I'm actually quite sad that mom would go celebrate Chinese New Year because she said that chinese traditions allow us to go visit homes for CNY because the one who died is of the female side of the family and thus does not matter in the grand scheme of things. I however am thoroughly disappointed with this. This chinese new year was not spent with as much joy and happiness as last year or the year before, and its easy to understand why.

I did not make it for the dan upgrading competition, losing my last and important match to the best player in the cohort. Considering that she is already 1 dan standard, a few players were noticeably agitated that a player as strong as she to be allowed in a kyu competition. I was nonchalant about it until the last match where I soon realised the only way I can get the dan was to defeat her, which is by no means an easy task.
I feel that I could have won some matches which I've lost, but then, it all over now and I lost exactly because I have already done these mistakes.

And because of the loss I've to wear the pink the whole year (or at least, till I get my dan, which, I have no mood to try for anymore.) This is by no means an extremely enjoyable experience since I dislike pink and would rather not be bound by any standards of others. However what's done is done and a promise is made and cannot be broken.

Less chains this year.